


The One Left Behind

by matrixaffiliate



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-21
Updated: 2018-08-21
Packaged: 2019-06-30 19:04:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 29
Words: 14,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15757830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/matrixaffiliate/pseuds/matrixaffiliate
Summary: My version of the Sirius Black and Marlene McKinnon story, told through a series of chronological one-shots starting end of 6th year. Everything follows Marauders' era cannon, except that I've moved Marlene's death from before Harry's first birthday to after it. I had a lot of fun working on this, and I hope those that read it enjoy it!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story was originally posted completed on my FFN account on 8-2-17. I've gone through and made spelling and grammar corrections that I've found.

Gryffindor had won the Quidditch cup and as the party in the common room ensued, sixth year James Potter was solely focused on maintaining the tentative friendship that he'd developed with Lily Evans. He talked and joked and managed to keep her smiling through the evening, but as the hour grew late she excused herself to her dorm, not caring to stay at the party for as late as it was likely to go. So after wishing her a good night, James set out to track down his friends. Off in a corner, butterbeers in hand, he found Remus and Peter.

"Lily go to bed?" Peter asked as James sat next to them.

"Yep. Says she's not one for late parties."

Remus handed him a butterbeer. "We'll want to find something to do for a while down here."

James groaned. "I thought Sirius had sworn off casual sex."

"It's Marlene McKinnon. Sirius said it'd be uncharitable to deny himself to the hottest girl in our year." Peter said placing a sympathetic hand on James' shoulder.

"What is his thing with blondes?!?" James laughed.

"We could ask the same about you and redheads." Remus chuckled.

"The Weasley's are just so damn dashing though!"

"Hey, I've got exploding snaps in my bag," Peter said as he stood from his chair. "Let's play a game or two. He only has till midnight and then it's fair game to go in."

* * *

 

Sirius and Marlene were breathless as they lay on top of each other in the small bed. "Do you know what time it is?" Sirius panted. "Our rule is that at midnight the rest of the guys can come in and go to bed."

Marlene looked at her watch. "It's 11:45." And she pushed herself up, blond curls tumbling down her shoulders, looking for where her clothes had landed. "You know Black, you're a good shag. We should do this again sometime."

"Are you coming on to me McKinnon?" Sirius eyed her as she pulled her jeans back on.

"Hardly. You're not relationship material Black, but the next time you're looking for a shag, let me know. If I'm feeling up for it, I might agree to another meetup."

Sirius grinned at her. "I'll keep that in mind."

Marlene walked over to the bed, now fully clothed, and kissed him, her tongue doing dangerous things given that in 15 minutes the rest of the Marauders could walk right in. "And for the record, you're a prat." She whispered huskily, blue eyes hooded.

"And you appeared to like it." He chuckled in a low voice as he smacked her ass.

"The shag Black, not you, the shag." And with that, she walked out the door and down the stairs to a party that was slowly dying down.


	2. Chapter 2

Lily Evans sat with Marlene McKinnon at their first breakfast of seventh year. "Did you see Sirius at all over the summer?" She asked.

"Why would I see Sirius Black over the summer?" Marlene looked baffled.

"Um, I thought you guys hooked up last year."

"Oh yeah, we had sex a couple times, but it was just sex. We're not in a relationship or anything like that."

"Oh," Lily's face seeing if it could outdo her hair. "I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to say anything by it. I just thought."

Marlene laughed. "Chill Lily, it's fine. I'm not worried about it."

Suddenly a scone landed in Lily's pumpkin juice, spraying juice everywhere, ruining the food on her plate. The red in her face going from embarrassment to anger, Lily turned to glare in the direction the scone came from. James held his head in his hands, Remus was frowning at Sirius, and Peter was laughing so hard he was struggling to stay on the bench. Sirius, however, was grinning.

"Sorry Evans." He called out. "I was trying to get McKinnon's attention."

"By throwing scones you git?!?" She stormed.

"Hey, I'm just trying to offer you more options for breakfast. Expand your pallet and all that. And while I find our conversations absolutely riveting dear, as I said before, I wanted to talk to McKinnon."

"What's up wanker?" Marlene asked as she brought her goblet to her lips.

"Fancy a shag?"

"Here on the tables? Not with all the food in the way."

"You're fine with an audience?" Sirius raised his eyebrows in surprise, a boyish grin on his lips.

"Not like anyone would notice," Marlene said deadpan, but her blue eyes glinted with humor.

"True, but I was thinking after classes, and somewhere more comfortable."

"Sure." She shrugged. "I'll be in the common room."

"Good." And he winked at her.


	3. Chapter 3

The Marauders all sat around Remus' bed in the hospital wing joking and laughing about their adventures from the night before. When Madame Pomfrey came out to scold them for exciting her patient they dutifully put on their best-subdued faces until she was back in her office.

Peter turned to Sirius. "So are you and Marlene dating?"

"What? Where did that come from?"

Remus rolled his eyes. "Come on mate. You guys have hooked up at least a dozen times since we got back to school, and she's initiated half of it. From the outside, that looks like dating."

"We're just hooking up guys, it's nothing really."

"Have you had sex with anyone else since we won the Quidditch cup last year?" James asked.

"Well no, but McKinnon is such a good shag that I don't really see much point in getting it with anyone else. Unless of course, you're volunteering Jamsie dearest. You know I'd switch teams for you." Sirius smiled seductively, laying his hand far too high up James' thigh.

"Twat," James laughed as he shoved Sirius off. "You know, Lily asked Marlene about it and Marlene hasn't hooked up with anyone but you since that party either."

Sirius shrugged. "A testament to how good I am in the sack gentlemen. If you ever want pointers let me know, but I warn you, most of it is just me and I can't teach you that."


	4. Chapter 4

Marlene was walking through Hogsmeade towards the Three Broomsticks as the autumn leaves crunched beneath her feet. Mary had decided to go work on her Potions essay once they'd finished shopping and left for the castle. Marlene definitely didn't want to do that, so she opted for a drink on her own with the last hour or so of the day. She took a seat at the bar and ordered a butterbeer. After Madame Rosmerta brought it over an older wizard came and sat next to her.

"Mind if I sit here?" He asked.

"I won't stop you." Marlene eyed him, he was obviously drunk, and he had that look in his eye. She silently cursed herself for first coming alone and second sitting alone at the bar.

"You're pretty. I bet you get around." He leered.

"None of your damn business," Marlene said taking a drink. What a stupid line that was. There was a reason this guy was alone and picking up witches in a low-level pub.

"I could make it my business you know." He said grabbing her arm. ‘Fuck’ she thought.

"Marls!" A voice called out from behind her. "There you are! I'm sorry I'm late, babe!" And Sirius Black stepped in between her and the drunken wizard. "I beg your pardon sir, but if you don't unhand the witch I'll be forced to make you. We **Blacks** are very protective and overly jealous you know."

The wizard faltered at the mention of the Black family and reluctantly let Marlene go.

"My thanks," Sirius said as he put his arm around Marlene's waist. "Ready to go, babe?"

"Sure thing babe." She said hopping from the stool and grabbing her jacket.

Once outside Sirius looked at her with a level of concern she hadn't expected. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah. Grabbing my arm is as far as it got. Thanks for the help. It always gets messy when I have to do that myself. It took me months to pay old Tom for the damage I caused at the Leaky when some twat thought he could force himself on me last year."

"Explosive temper," Sirius grinned. "I like it."

"You would. Thanks again, wanker. I'm going to head back to the castle. See you around."

"No problem. Keep out of trouble. I'd hate for you to start looking at me like a hero."

And she flipped him off as she walked away.


	5. Chapter 5

"You sodding idiot!" Marlene screamed. "You thought bringing a fucking camera into the bed was a brilliant idea?!? Who do you think I am?!?”

"Oh come off it McKinnon! You can't be mad anymore because you bloody blew it to pieces! You owe me a new camera!" Sirius yelled back.

"Yeah right! I'll buy you a new camera the day I die! You pathetic bloody twat!" And she threw his shirt at him.

"I'll hold you to that!" Sirius yelled throwing his shirt back at her. It hit her in the face and she yanked it down tangling her gold curls. Her blue eyes stared daggers at him, and her face was flushed from screaming. Merlin, she was sexy when she was angry. Figuring he had nothing to lose, Sirius grabbed her and kissed her hard.

"What are you doing?!?" She asked pushing him back.

"Being turned on by how damn sexy you are when you're pissed off at me." Sirius said in before kissing her again.

She went to push him away again, but as he ran a hand up her chest she stopped and started fighting for dominance in the kiss. Waring with each other as they kissed, Sirius and Marlene wrestled back to the bed where Sirius pinned her down. Marlene laughed and Sirius pulled away to look down at her.

"I'm still not buying you a new camera, prat." She replied as she wrestled her arms free and pulled him back down to her.


	6. Chapter 6

"The woods? Really? We could just go back to your dorm. Or a broom closet? Or really anywhere that isn't outside on the ground." Marlene said as they walked past the shrieking shack and down a small game path in the trees.

"The guys are getting uppity about us taking the dorm so often and honestly what broom closet haven't we done it in. I'm widening your horizons. It'll be an experience and you know I'm a good shag so the only risk is you might get cold. Are you enough of a Gryffindor to handle a bit of cold?" Sirius grinned.

"The real question, Black, is if you're enough of a Gryffindor to handle me," Marlene said putting her hands on her hips.

"I think I can manage." He said eyeing her up and down, a smirk on his lips.

They went further and further down the path as Sirius guided her through the trees to a little clearing. Marlene pulled out her wand and conjured a blanket on the ground.

"Aren't you just cute," Sirius said running a hand under her shirt.

"If you mean cute as in I don't want to be picking leaves out if my hair all day then yes." She grabbed his collar and brought his lips to hers, biting his lip.

Sirius laughed and pulled her down with him to sit on her conjured blanket. "I'd help you get them all out."

"I don't trust you." She sighed as he ran his teeth along her neck.

"Smart girl." He chuckled.

Suddenly thunder clapped overhead and the sky began to darken. Marlene and Sirius looked up at the storm that had come out of nowhere.

"Shit!" Sirius swore as the rain came pelting down hard on their heads. He grabbed Marlene's hand as she grabbed her wand and lead her running towards the closest shelter he could think of.

When the shack came into view the rain worsened and the wind picked up, practically blinding them as they ran. Sirius stumbled up the hill with Marlene as they fought through the weather until finally making it to the front door of the shack. He pulled out his wand, opened the door, and pulled Marlene in with him closing the door behind them.

Panting, soaking, and shivering in the small entry Sirius put an arm around Marlene. "You ok Marls?"

"Winded but good. We’re in the shrieking shack then." She said looking around.

"Yep. It's not really haunted though so we're good to hang out till the storm passes. Come on, I know the perfect spot to wait."

"Bring all your shags around here then?" She asked as he led her up the stairs.

"Actually," Sirius said stopping mid-stride. "You're the first girl I've ever brought here. And I'd appreciate it if you didn't say anything about this. James and Remus would kill me if they knew."

Marlene was about to make light of the request, but she caught sight of his face in the dim light and stopped herself. Sirius’ expression was one of real concern and she realized there was a valid reason behind his request, whatever it may be. "Yeah, no problem."

Sirius nodded and led her up the stairs to a small room with a bed in one corner and a chair opposite it. "I'm impressed that you're not scared." He said as he pulled her into the chair with him.

"I've met a few ghosts in my time, aside from the Hogwarts ghosts." Marlene shrugged. "Even the ones who are insane aren't so bad as long as you keep your mind rooted in reality. It's if you start listening to them that they drive you mad too."

"No wonder you're a Gryffindor." He said running a hand up her wet shirt.

"Turn you on does that?" She smirked.

"I've always found Gryffindors to be more fun. Notice how few Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff girls I've done?" And he kissed her neck.

"Honestly Black, I haven't noticed any other girls you've done." Marlene brought her leg around to straddle him.

"Smart girl." He chuckled before running his teeth along her collarbone.

Much later, Sirius stood by the window watching the rain as it pounded the building. "I think we're stuck here for a while longer unless you fancy running through more of what was going on when we got here."

Marlene stretched in the chair and pulled her jumper on. "Not particularly, no. My hair is finally dry and I'd rather not have to soak it again. It's already a mess."

"You can't blame that on the rain," Sirius smirked smugly.

Marlene flipped him off and threw his shirt at him which he pulled over his head.

"So what do we do while we wait?" Marlene asked looking around.

Sirius shrugged. "I guess we could chat. I know more about your body than I know about you."

"Are you coming on to me Black?" Marlene laughed.

"No. I'm trying to avoid dying of boredom. Trust me; you'd know if I were coming onto you." He crossed the room and sat on the floor in front of her. "Alright, life story. Go."

"You're serious?"

"Of course I'm Sirius. Who do you think you've been fucking all these times?"

"Sod off prat!" She said kicking her muddy trainer at him.

"Really though. Tell me your life story McKinnon. Might as well pass the time somehow." He threw the trainer back at her and she deflected it to the floor.

"Ok." Marlene shrugged. "My name is Marlene Anne McKinnon and I was born in Scotland. My parents are both employed by the Ministry's Muggle Relations Office and they help handle the Scottish affairs from their office in Edinburgh. I have a younger sister named Catherine who starts at Hogwarts next year. My dad jokes that being at school with his brothers was the worst so he and Mom planned it so she and I wouldn't be. I kind of wish they hadn't but whatever. I have no idea what I'll do when we pass our NEWTS. My parents want me to work with them at the offices in Edinburgh but I can't think of anything duller. Lily told me the other day that I should try and get a job at one of the shops on Diagon Alley and that's probably what I'll do but I don't like the idea much. And yeah, that's pretty much me. Your turn."

Sirius shifted to lie on his back, placing his hands behind his head as he looked up at the ceiling. "My name is Sirius Orion Black. My parents are James' parents, and I try not to think about who my parents were before the Potters took me in. I consider James to be my brother. My friends are my life. I love a good joke and a clever prank. After we pass our NEWTS I'm going to travel. I want to see more than just what's here, you know?"

"Yeah," Marlene agreed quietly, turning to look out the rain-soaked window. "I want to see how big the ocean is and know what it's like to feel insignificant sitting in the middle of it, knowing I could be swallowed up in it in an instant."

"To fly so high that you're light headed and freezing cold, but everything below you is so small that you feel like you're the only thing in this damned messed up world that really exists." Sirius smiled.

"To stand at the top of a mountain knowing you climbed that beast and you're in control of that at least." Marlene turned back to look down at Sirius.

Sirius looked back at her, his eyes missing the walls that normally surrounded him, a small smile on his face that Marlene had never seen before. "If you don't find that job when we're done with school you should come with me."

Marlene’s smile was bright as she replied. "I think I'll just forgo the searching entirely and say yes to you. I'd much rather see the world than sit behind some shop counter for a few Knuts a day." She smirked. "And it's a guarantee that the sex will be good so I really don't see how I can do better."

Sirius laughed and turned to prop himself up on one arm. "It's impossible really. I'm offering you the best years of your life. You'd be a damned fool to turn down that kind of offer."

"Good thing I'm not a fool then." She laughed.

"I've got an old muggle motorcycle that I've been working on with Dad. It flies now. That's what we'll take since it can blend in with the muggles along the way."

"I love motorcycles!" Marlene exclaimed dropping to the floor from the chair. "My parents think it's a waste of time but I subscribe to muggle magazines about them and have it sent to my parents’ office. I put the name as 'Advertising' so my parents think it's some of the junk mail. I ask them to bring all the junk mail home so I can learn more about muggles. I toss the rest and get to read my magazines."

"Holy shit woman!" Sirius swore, pushing himself up to sitting. "I did not think you could get any hotter! Wait! Be angry at me and I think you'll be at max!"

"Merlin Sirius I thought we were sharing life stories or whatever sappy shit you said. You're the one who wanted to take a break."

"Come on Marls! I could be the only man on the planet with the ability to see you at your peak of sexiness. It's now or never."

"Are you implying that I'm never going to be as hot as I am now?" Marlene eyed him.

"Exactly! Get angry at me McKinnon! You'll be forever ugly after today. I'll move on to someone hotter and better than you’ll ever be." Sirius didn't expect the slap that followed and it echoed in the small room.

"You fucking prat!" She snapped.

Sirius rubbed his jaw and brought his head back up to look at Marlene. Her face was filled with mirth and flushed with pink. Her normally soft blue eyes were hard as ice and almost shooting flames. Her mouth was pursed, the whole image creating a glare that he couldn't look away from. Sirius could feel his whole body cry out to have her. "Bloody hell woman! How do you do this?!?" And he grabbed her by the waist pulling her close and kissed her.

"You think I'm just going to let you fuck me after you insulted me like that?!?" Marlene pushed him away, but he pulled her back.

"You know the sex is better when we start out like this."

She couldn't deny that. The best sex they'd had yet was still the day she blew up his camera. "Make it worth my while wanker." And she kissed him.

* * *

 

The rain began slowing and by the time Sirius had handed Marlene her trainer the sun was out again. "You know I didn't mean it right?"

"Which?" She asked as she tied her laces.

"You're always going to be the most gorgeous girl I know Marls." And though she'd deny it, Marlene blushed and a shy smile crossed her lips.


	7. Chapter 7

Marlene and Sirius sat in the common room pouring over the latest edition of the motorcycle magazines she'd been sent by her parents, the rest of the junk mail smoldering in the flames of one of the fireplaces. Remus and Peter sat not far off talking quietly.

"What are the odds that they realize it?" Peter asked.

"Worse than the odds for James and Lily." Remus chuckled.

Peter laughed. "But it's so obvious. He's in love with her and she's in love with him. Hell Moony they were practically made for each other."

Remus set down his book. "I know Pete, and maybe that's why they don't see it yet. Give it time. They'll get there eventually." Remus smiled as he watched Marlene slowly break down all of Sirius' walls. They had a ways to go, but Remus knew they'd get there.


	8. Chapter 8

Sirius walked into the Great Hall and went directly for Marlene, pushing a fourth year out of the way to sit next to her.

"Hi, Black." She said taking a bite of her dinner.

"Hey, I heard some Hufflepuff asked you out today in one of your classes." He said leaning close to her.

"Yeah,” She shrugged. “Steve Diggory."

"And what did you say?" Sirius pressed.

Marlene turned to look directly at him. "I said no because he just broke up with his girlfriend and he was only asking me out to be his rebound."

Sirius grinned, "Inconsiderate git."

"I rather thought so too. If you're free later I'll be in the common room."

"I'll meet you there." He winked at her, before standing and walking out of the Great Hall, feeling a whole head taller.


	9. Chapter 9

Marlene and Sirius lay on the common room floor, a game of wizards' chess between them when Dumbledore's voice echoed through the castle.

"All students will proceed to their common rooms immediately." He calmly announced.

Marlene looked up at Sirius. "Did you know he could do that?"

Sirius laughed. "I honestly doubt there's much Dumbledore can't do."

Students quickly started pouring into the common room and soon James and Lily came in looking shell-shocked.

"May we have your attention please?" James called out. "Lily and I have just been informed that there was an attack on Hogsmeade this afternoon and until further notice, all Hogsmeade visits are canceled. If you have any questions Professor McGonagall will be here in a few minutes to answer them." He and Lily walked over to Sirius and Marlene and were quickly joined by Remus and Peter.

"What happened Prongs?" Peter asked the laughter that he normally carried gone out of him.

James shook his head. "Dumbledore didn't give us much, but Voldemort came in with a bunch of his cronies and killed three whole families."

Marlene gasped. Without thinking Sirius had moved to be next to her and put an arm around her shoulders.

"It looks like he's done picking on Ministry officials. He's apparently taking matters into his own hands. All three families were mixed blood." Lily's voice was dead as she spoke, but her eyes betrayed her fear.

Marlene's hand gripped Sirius' leg, as the implications of what happened hit her. "James," she said quietly. "We're any of those killed what Voldemort would have labeled as blood traitors?" Peter leaned in close to hear the answer.

James sighed and nodded. He knew why she asked. Peter, her, Sirius, and even himself were all at risk now.

"Why does that even matter?" Lily asked, her voice breaking.

Marlene turned to her, and Sirius noted that the usual coolness that surrounded Marlene was returning. "News flash angel: you're not his only target. I'm as much of a target as you are."

"I'd like to see him try," Sirius growled quietly.

"So is James, and Sirius, and Peter, and Remus is half-blood so basically what I'm saying is get out of that well of self-pity you've thrown yourself in and realize that you're not alone."

Lily bit her lip, tears welling in her eyes.

"Out of line McKinnon," James said going to Lily and wrapping a friendly arm around her.

"I call it how I see it, Potter. I'm sorry Lily. I'm not trying to be mean, but Voldemort has just started a war, and if you think you're alone you'll lose. Don't let him make you feel singled out."

Lily began to cry softly into James' shoulder.

McGonagall walked through the portrait hole just then and the room quieted.

"Your attention, please. I have a lot to do and so I will not repeat myself. Voldemort has struck at Hogsmeade and so for your protection, we have canceled all visits for the rest of the year. Effective immediately, students must be within the castle walls by sundown, no exceptions. Finally, all students will be given revised schedules to accommodate being in the castle by sundown, and to include double Defense Against the Dark Arts starting Monday. I have no information on the victims. Any questions?"

The common room sat silent.

"Very well." She turned on her heels and left.

"Well, so much for picking up more ink tomorrow. I need to write to my parents to send some. Can I use your ink, Black? I really am completely out."

"Sure thing McKinnon." He helped her to stand and they went walking up the stairs.

When they got to his dorm Marlene quickly scratched out a letter and as she folded it into the envelope she turned to Sirius. "I'm going to take a rain check on traveling the world with you after we pass our NEWTS. I've decided I'm going to fight him. I know he wouldn't let me live in his world anyway so I might as well try to take him and a few of his cronies out before he gets me."

"He won't get you," Sirius whispered, but Marlene didn’t hear him.

She smiled a sad smile. "Have fun out there though."

"You bloody woman." Sirius shook his head. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm fighting too. Look, I didn't tell you everything when we were waiting-out that storm. My parents would rejoice in seeing Voldemort kill me. They would probably even pay to be there. The rest of my extended family minus one cousin feels the same way. And I'm not going to let them rule the world. If you think he'll have it out for you, I'll have him and my whole stupid family out for me. Trust me; you're not going to be fighting alone."

Marlene smiled at him. "We'll go at it together then."

"Or die trying." Sirius grinned as he pulled her close to him. Holding her felt real, and the news of a war they weren't prepared to fight was just static in the background.


	10. Chapter 10

 "You owe me 2 sickles!" Marlene laughed sitting down next to Sirius at breakfast.

"What?" Sirius looked perplexed.

"Guess who I just saw sneak inside the kitchens, hand in hand?" Marlene looked smug and Sirius found this a very attractive look for her.

"Filtch and his mangy cat?" Sirius laughed.

"No, none other than James Potter and Lily Evans!" She smirked at the face he made. She loved keeping him on his toes.

"Wait! What?!?" Peter exclaimed.

"You heard me, Pettigrew." Marlene laughed. "James and Lily were all cozy as they ducked into the kitchens."

Peter's expression grew pained. "You haven't already talked to that Ravenclaw you offered to set Lily up with last night, have you? See we've been dealing with this drama for years and now that it's over I'd rather not introduce a wildcard."

Marlene smiled. "You're a good friend Peter. Don't worry. There's no Ravenclaw. I made him up to mess with James."

"What?" Sirius exclaimed. "You made that bet with me right after James went to bed last night. I only took it because I thought this fictitious Ravenclaw would be in the picture!"

Marlene shrugged. "I can't control what you think Black. You lost the bet and owe me 2 sickles."

Remus chuckled softly. "You're a manipulative woman Marlene."

"No Remus, I just know how to get what I want. Now Black, if you'd don't have the money with you then I'll collect my winnings this evening."

"Here." Sirius pushed two coins into her hands. "We should meet up tonight."

"I've got an essay to finish. If you're still game when I'm done, sure."

He winked at her as she grabbed an apple and a croissant before heading to class.

"So when are you going to admit you're dating Marlene?" Peter said nudging Sirius in the ribs.

"I'm not dating Marlene," Sirius said taking a bite of his bacon. "We have casual sex on occasion and we talk motorcycles. That's it."

Peter shook his head. "You do know that after she turned down Diggory everyone took that to mean you two were dating. The whole school looks at you as the two bad assess of our year. That's why no one flirts with either of you anymore, they're scared of the repercussions, and I'm positive that neither of you has noticed that fact."

"Pete, you're one of my best friends, but you really don't know what you're talking about here."

Peter shook his head. "Merlin Sirius, you're in deep aren't you?"

"Leave it alone Pete. He's not ready." Remus chuckled, a knowing smile on his lips.


	11. Chapter 11

Marlene collapsed on top of Sirius, their breathing fast. They lay there in silence for a while before she spoke.

"Enjoyed your holidays then?"

"Yeah, Mum and Dad went all out for us this year. Guess they're as worried as the rest of us."

Marlene hummed her agreement. In just the month of December Voldemort and his gang had murdered almost 50 people. January was only a week in and the count was to 23. Wizards, witches, and muggles alike he didn't distinguish. If you didn't vocally sympathize with him and his messed up cause, you were a target. They were killing people so fast that the Aurors couldn't even keep up, let alone get ahead, and many of those killed were Aurors and their families.

"You worried?" She asked, not willing to look up from his chest.

"Sort of. I'm worried about keeping everyone else alive, but I already know they'll come after me. Have you noticed how some of my cousins glare at me? I'm going to take as many of them out with me as I can though."

"I'm not afraid to die." She murmured. "I figure it's just the next step, you know? Ghosts say that they're here because they weren’t willing to move on. I want to see what's next."

"I'm afraid of being left behind." He whispered. "I don't want to be the one who has to be alone here."

"So your solution is suicide?"

"No. My solution is to save everyone else. Weren't you listening?"

"And die in the process."

"If that happens then it happens."

"Isn't there anything you'd want to stick around for?"

"Wait weren't you just saying that you weren't scared of dying?"

"Just because I'm not afraid to die doesn't mean I don't want to live." She shifted to look right at him. "Don't be so scared of being left behind that you throw out any desire to stay."

"I guess I'd stick around for the sex." He smirked, "And all your motorcycle magazines." 

Marlene laughed. "Do you really plan on keeping me around for that long? I think we're breaking records in the casual sex books."

Sirius ran a hand through her mussed curls, loving how soft they were.  "I break things all the time." He chuckled. "And you've ruined me Marls. No one will ever be as good of a shag as you are. I'd be an idiot to not keep this going."

"Are you coming on to me Sirius?" Marlene laughed.

"Maybe I am." And he kissed her.


	12. Chapter 12

The warm spring air blew around them as they sat by the lake studying, or rather snogging with books scattered around them.

"Studying got a lot better when I started doing it with you." Marlene laughed.

Sirius smirked. "Everything is better with me Marls."

She hummed her agreement and looked out at the lake. "Sirius, when did we get to this? We've been out here snogging like a proper couple for an hour. Have you noticed how often we hold hands? We pass hours in your bed looking at motorcycle magazines and talking. Is this still just casual sex?"

"What do you want this to be?" Sirius asked cautiously.

"I don't know. I like this. I don't want to ruin it by giving it a label."

"Then let's not ruin it." He murmured in her ear, kissing her neck.

She moaned slightly and smiled. "I just want to make sure we're on the same page I guess."

"Ok." Sirius chuckled. "Here's my page. You're sexy as hell and I want to keep doing what we're doing."

"And you don't want to do anything with anyone else?" She pressed as she ran her black fingernails along his neck.

"Merlin woman." Sirius breathed as he pulled her closer to him. "No, I don't want to do anything with any other bloody woman."

"Hmmm. So James is still an option." She chuckled as he ran a hand through her hair.

"Always will be Marls. That's a risk you'll have to be willing to take." And he kissed her neck.

"I like my chances."


	13. Chapter 13

"You got one too," Marlene said as she walked into Sirius' dorm.

"We all did. Lily too." Sirius nodded.

"What do you think he wants?"

"I don't know. Dumbledore's an odd one, but he's only asked seventh years of age from what Remus has been able to nose out. Let's grab some dinner and then we can head to his office."

"Right."

They sat in Dumbledore's office with a handful of other students. Peter, Remus, James, Lily, Dorcas Meadows, Emmeline Vance, and Benjy Fenwick waited with Sirius and Marlene. They didn't need to wait for long. Dumbledore came in followed by McGonagall and a worn looking wizard with an eye patch.

"Excellent. I see you all got my message." He said coming to sit in his chair. "I understand you must all be wondering why I asked you here today. I will not let you wonder longer. I have formed a group to battle against Voldemort and his followers. I have been watching your progress in your Defense Against the Dark Arts classes and I feel you are the best in your class. I am offering you all positions with this group to fight Voldemort and put an end to him. I will give you the evening to decide, and if you will simply write your answers on the invitation I sent you by tomorrow I will receive your answers."

"I don't need the evening, Professor. Count me in." Sirius said.

"My answer is also yes." Marlene smiled.

"Do you kids think this is some kind of game?" The wizard in the eye patch growled. "You're agreeing to be on the front lines without a second thought."

"Alastor," Dumbledore started but Marlene cut him off.

"Do you think we're so sheltered?" She demanded her anger showing on her face. "I'm well aware that this is dangerous and I've made peace with death. I'm not concerned about dying; I'm concerned about stopping a madman that will kill me anyway if he isn't stopped. So don't insult me by saying I haven't thought this through. I've been planning on this since the Hogsmeade attack." And she stared him down challenging him to question her further.

Alastor stared at her for a moment before turning to Sirius. "And you boy?"

Sirius grinned. "I'm already a dead man. See sir, I'm a disowned Black. They'll be looking to kill me the moment I step off the train. I'm hoping to take as many of them out with me as I can." Alastor grunted, and then whispered something to Dumbledore who merely smiled.

"Unless any of the rest of you have something to say now, I think you all ought to return to your common rooms."

No one spoke.

"Very well, off you go."

Quietly they filed out of the office and back to their common rooms.

Lily and James sat in one corner talking quietly. Sirius and Marlene sat with Peter and Remus by a fireplace.

"Do you think it's a good idea to jump into the war like this?" Peter asked. "I mean, I really don't want him to win, but I feel like joining You-Know-Who's arch enemy is kind of asking for it."

"Wait," Remus said. "Don't you tell me that you've started calling him that?!? His name is Voldemort, Wormtail. You need to keep him grounded in reality."

"Moony he's killed almost 1000 muggles, witches, and wizards in less than a year."

"No." Marlene interrupted. "His cronies have. He's actually only killed a handful of people."

"Whatever. Dead is dead."

"Pete." Remus put a reassuring hand on Peter's shoulder. "It's ok to be scared. But being scared shouldn't stop us. Use your fear as a motivator to face the darkness. You fight well, and we'd be lucky to have you."

"So you're joining?" Sirius said with excitement.

"Yeah. It'll be hard and all, but I'm going to talk through the complications with Dumbledore. He obviously thinks those things can be overcome or he wouldn't have asked me in the first place."

"What complications?" Marlene asked.

"His mother's health." Peter and Sirius responded in unison.

Remus however, looked thoughtfully at Marlene. "You're definitely joining Dumbledore?" He asked her seriously.

"Of course."

"Then it might be good for you to know as well."

"Remus," Sirius cut in. "You don't have to do this if you don't want to."

"Do what?" Marlene asked, now feeling a bit on edge.

Peter looked on nervously as Remus contemplated.

"I have a secret that currently only James, Peter, Sirius, Lily, Dumbledore, McGonagall, and Madame Pomfrey know. I would like to include you in this secret so that you and I can work better in this war and help with the logistics if Dumbledore decides not to tell the others in his group. Are you willing to help me and keep my secret?" Remus asked.

"You're my friend Remus. Of course, I'm willing to help you, in whatever way I can." Marlene laid a hand on his shoulder.

Remus took a deep breath. "I was bitten by a werewolf when I was four years old, and suffer the same condition."

Marlene gasped. "That's horrible!"

"Well I've had good friends to help, so it's not nearly as bad as it could be." Remus smiled at Sirius and Peter.

"You're secret is safe with me Remus," Marlene said recovering from the initial shock.

"No questions or revulsion?" Peter asked her.

Marlene gave him a cold stare. "I'm not as shallow as that Peter. Remus is a good man, and this doesn't change that."

Remus smiled at her. "Thanks Marlene." He choked, visibly moved by her words.

"If more people were like you we wouldn't have to hide Remus' furry little problem." Sirius said as he wrapped an arm around her waist.

Just then James and Lily joined them. "So we're all in then?" James asked their little group.

"I am." Remus nodded. "Pete?"

They all turned to him, waiting as he looked at them with a level of apprehension they'd never seen in him before.

After a long moment, he sighed. "Yeah, I'm in."


	14. Chapter 14

Marlene and Sirius lay in his bed at Potter Manor.

"You ready for tomorrow?" He asked her.

"As ready as I'll ever be. Moody's training could be used as a prisoner reform program."

Sirius chuckled. "We'll have the Prewitt twins with us so it should be ok. Fab and Gid are good guys and they're a power team."

Marlene laughed and pushed herself up to look at Sirius. "Still ok with dying?"

Sirius kissed her. "Yeah. You?"

"Yeah," She said lowering her lips to his. "I have an idea I want to run by you."

"Uh-oh, Marls is thinking."

She swatted his arm. "Fine, if you don't want a good shag tonight..."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" He said grabbing her hips and pulling her close. "Let's not get hasty. What's this brilliant idea?"

She smiled her sexy smile at him, her curls cascading onto both of them. "I thought we could make it a point to have sex the night before a mission."

"I like it." Sirius laughed as he pulled her over him.

* * *

 

The next day they arrived back at the Potters shaken by the mission. It had succeeded, but they all ended up getting bloodied in the process, and if not for Gideon and Fabian, Sirius and Marlene probably wouldn't have made it out alive. They went straight to his room, telling Monty, Mia, James, and Lily that they weren't ready to talk yet. They lay on his bed replaying it all over and over again in their minds.

Finally, Sirius spoke. "I have to tell you something."

Marlene turned to him, her face calm, but eyes betrayed the fear she felt after today.

"When both of us almost died back there I realized there was something I'm not at peace with yet, and if I'm going to be ready to die like we keep talking about then I need to tell you something." He took a deep breath to calm himself. "Marlene, I love you. I just need you to know that."

Marlene wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him hard. "I love you too." She said pulling away for a second before kissing him again, unloading all the stress and fear into sexual passion.

"I have an idea I want to run by you, Sirius said as she pulled his shirt over his head. "Every mission we make it out alive after, we have sex."

Marlene ran her nails down his chest. "Best damn idea you've ever had." And she kissed him.


	15. Chapter 15

"How did they take it?" Sirius asked as he helped her translocate everything to the flat James' parents had bought for their group. It was closer to Headquarters and even though they were getting on in years, Sirius was pretty sure Mia and Monty enjoyed their alone time. Monty had said it was because he wanted to make sure that if he couldn't fight this time around then he'd make sure his kids would have every resource to fight in his stead. That was all very noble but Sirius still thought they wanted unlimited alone time again.

"They weren't happy, but I pointed out that this would put me closer to Headquarters and you and they finally gave in."

That was one thing Sirius was grateful for. Marlene's parents seemed genuinely fond of him and it hadn't been a big deal to assimilate into their family, but he was uneasy with their affection. He made a mental note to ask Andromeda if this was how she felt with Ted and his family at first too.

"All set," Marlene said smiling at him. "Let's go home, Sirius." He smiled as he wrapped his arm around her; with a turn, they apparated to their room in the flat.

The flat had three bedrooms; James and Lily were in one, Marlene and Sirius in another, and Remus in the third. Peter had a bed in Remus' room so he could crash there, but he had told them he wasn't ready to completely move out of his parents’ home yet.

“Pizza’s here!” Lily called out as they unloaded some of their things from their boxes.

The five of them sat around the dinner table eating and laughing about old times. As Sirius pulled Marlene close and watched his friends he realized that this was definitely the reason to keep living. The war waged, but they had each other, and as long as he had his friends, why die if he didn't have to?


	16. Chapter 16

It was the first snow of the season when Lily's muggle telephone rang. Sirius thought the telephone was a pretty neat trick, but he saw little use for it since Lily's parents and Remus’ mom were the only muggles he even knew.

"Hello?" Lily said picking up the receiver.   
“Yes. This is she.  
Oh my gosh! Are they alright?  
Yes, I'll come right away." And she hung up the receiver.

"James!" She cried grabbing her coat. "My parents were in a car crash. We have to go now!"

James came out of their room pulling on his boots, his eyes full of concern. "Are they ok?"

"I don't know!” Lily wailed. “The nurse who called said she isn't allowed to give information over the phone!"

"Let us know what's going on when you get there," Marlene said giving Lily a hug before she and James rushed out the door.

An hour later James' Patronus appeared. "Lily's parents died at the scene. We'll be home once we have everything in order here. Her sister is making things difficult."

Remus shook his head sadly, "Poor Lily."

"You don't think it was him do you?" Peter stammered.

"I doubt it," Marlene said sadly. "But Remus would know more about than I would."

"We'll Moony?” Sirius turned towards him. “Are muggle cars likely to crash and kill their passengers?"

Remus sighed. "Unfortunately yes, but given that James and Lily were offered a place with Voldemort last month and turned him down, it would be good to check. We'll need to know where everything happened and where the car is now. You and Marlene know enough about mechanics to see if anything went wrong that shouldn't have."

After getting all the information from James, Sirius and Marlene went to the yard that had the totaled car while Remus and Peter went to the scene of the crash.

* * *

 

"Other than being a mangled mess this car was in ok shape, but I think the tires are why they lost control. There's not a whole lot of tread left on them is there? And with how wet the roads were with the snow and all…" Marlene trailed off sadly.

"I think you’re right, but I don't know if this is going to help much." Sirius sighed. "Whether Voldemort killed them or the impact did, she's still lost her parents."

Marlene nodded sadly as she snaked her arm around his waist. "At least the rest of us know he's not going after family members yet."

Sirius sighed. "At least there's that."


	17. Chapter 17

"Are you sure about this, Prongs?" Sirius asked him as they walked up the steps to their flat.

"Surer than anything Padfoot." He grinned.

Sirius shook his head. It was daft. "Why not wait till everything calms down?"

"I don't want to wait, Sirius. I want to marry her and I want to do that before anything can happen. If I die I want to be at peace with myself, and I can't be that if I'm not married to Lily." Sirius couldn't argue that. Being at peace with death was at the core of his relationship with Marlene.

"Ok Prongs. Good luck."

James turned as they reached the door. "What? No ribbing?"

Sirius smiled and put his hand on James' shoulder. "No, today, just luck. I'll save the ribbing for my best man speech."

James laughed and opened the door. Lily and Marlene sat on the couch with the muggle radio playing.

"Hey, Lils. I thought we'd do dinner out, just the two of us." James said kissing her when she came to greet him.

"Sure babe! Let me grab my coat."

Sirius took Lily's vacated seat and proceeded to snog Marlene.

"Can't you at least wait till I'm gone?" James demanded.

Sirius and Marlene laughed. "I was just saying hello. Besides we have the apartment to ourselves tonight since Remus and Peter are out with Moody. I'm just starting the festivities."

James groaned. "I don't want any details when I get back."

Marlene smirked. "Really? Lily loves getting details."

"That's enough Marlene," Lily said coming down the hall, blushing furiously. "Ready James?"

James took her hand and smiled a nervous smile. "Right," he turned to the couple still entwined on the couch. "See you later."

Sirius winked at him. "Have fun kids."

Marlene laughed as they shut the door and Sirius returned to snogging her. "Does Lily really like our details?" He asked curiously as he ran a hand up her shirt.

"More so advice, I use us as examples. She's pretty shy in bed from what she tells me. I'm trying to help her feel better about it all." And she ran her nails along his abdomen.

"Well for the sake of educational examples..." Sirius smirked as he moved to hover above her.


	18. Chapter 18

Marlene sat with Lily next to Sirius' bedside in St. Mungo's. He and James had been assigned a mission and Sirius had stepped between Snape and James when Snape had fired off a spell. James had gone berserk as the blood ran out of Sirius. He had grabbed his brother and apparated straight to St. Mungo's. It had been close, but the healers felt Sirius would make it now. 

James walked in and pulled a chair over to Lily, making a loud screeching noise.

"You'd wake the dead Prongs." Sirius groaned. 

"Sirius!" Marlene whispered grabbing his hand.

"Marls." He sighed and smiled. "Not dead, huh?" 

"No, but you got close. James got you here just in time."

"Thanks, mate." Sirius smiled.

"What possessed you to step in front of Snape without a shield up?!?" Lily demanded.

Marlene turned to Lily with a cold stare but Sirius answered before she could. "Lily I'm not going to apologize for saving your fiancé. I didn't have time to get a shield up. Greasy git is a quick one, and he's got a personal vendetta against James. I'm surprised it wasn't the killing curse."

Lily looked like she was going to reply but James spoke first. "I owe you one, Pads. Thanks for having my back today."

"Anytime Prongs. I'm here for you."

James smiled and then took Lily's hand. "Come on Lils, let's go tell Mum, Dad, and the Order he's alive and kicking."

As the door shut Marlene let out a shuttering breath. "I see why you're afraid now. Being the one left behind is terrifying." Sirius realized that she was holding back tears. Marlene seldom cried but right now she was fighting it.

"Hey. It's alright this time. And remember, we're ready to die. That's like the pillar of our relationship. We're living each day so if we die we're at peace with it."

Marlene took a shuddering breath and managed a small smile. "Now we just need to be at peace with being the one left behind."

Her words made Sirius grow cold. "That's not as easy." He said quietly. 

Marlene squeezed his hand. "At least you get to come home tomorrow."

"And as soon as I'm able to move again I'm going to rock your world." He winked at her.

Marlene laughed and stood to kiss him softly.


	19. Chapter 19

Marlene's bridesmaid dress was a soft pale blue and her golden curls were swept up off her neck. Sirius had spent the day finding excuses to pull her into dark corners and empty rooms. He could never have enough of her. She was like a drug and each fix left him needing more. What was better, he was apparently the same for her; for as often he had pulled her away, she had pulled him away too.

The night was wearing down, bride and groom left long ago, and Sirius downed the rest of his drink as he watched Marlene talk with some of the witches from the order. She laughed a silvery laugh and caught his eye, then winked before excusing herself and walking over to Sirius. She sat on his lap and grabbed his tie, then kissed him hard, her breath a mix of fire whiskey and sugar.

"Merlin Marls! I'll fuck you right here if you kiss me like that again!"

"Promise?" She whispered in his ear and laughed wickedly when he groaned. "Take me home Sirius."

He apparated them instantly to their room in their flat and was pushing her up against the wall, kissing her with a hunger that could never be filled. He held her arms against the wall, pressing his body into her as she fought back for dominance. Finally wrenching her arms free, she ran her hands down his shirt, undoing buttons as fast as she could. Shedding the offending garment Sirius spun a laughing Marlene around onto their bed. Practically ripping her out of the dress, he began working his lips down her body, Marlene moaning her approval.

"You are the best high!" He said as he kissed her skin.

"You're the real drug." Marlene laughed.

"Addicted to me are you babe?" He teased as he ran his teeth over her.

"Merlin Sirius just fuck me already!"

Suddenly there was a knock at the door.

"Busy," Marlene called out breathlessly.

"Sirius we had to take Monty to St. Mungo's." Remus called out.

Sirius froze; the passion and frenzy rushing out of him instantly. He stood and went to the door while Marlene grabbed a pair of jeans from the floor and a t-shirt.

"What happened?" Sirius asked as he opened the door to Remus and Peter.

"He was complaining about being tired from the excitement of the wedding and so he and Mia went home. Mia came to find you at the wedding about 15 minutes ago and when I told her you'd gone home she asked Pete and me to come with her. When we got there his fever was so high that he wasn't coherent. I apparated him to St. Mungos and Peter brought Mia, and then we came to get you."

Marlene handed Sirius his jeans and t-shirt. "Change and we'll go." And she started pulling bobby pins out of her hair, letting her curls fall back around her. Sirius was numb as he quickly changed and pulled on his trainers.

"I'll do it," Marlene said as he wrapped his arm around her. She apparated them to St. Mungos and Remus and Peter appeared beside them.

"This way," Remus said leading them to a waiting area. "Here's where we left them. Let me go ask where they are."

Marlene stood with her arm around Sirius' waist, keeping a firm grip on him. When Remus came back his face was grim.

"Dragon Pox. Apparently, Mia has it too. She started running the fever while they were taking care of Monty."

Sirius let out an explosive breath. "So they'll be ok, right? I mean yeah it sucks, but dragon pox isn't fatal."

Remus looked worried. "The healers are concerned because of how old they are. Monty is nearly 110, and Mia isn't far behind. It's dangerous for them."

"Can we go see them?" Sirius asked, trying to ignore Remus' concern.

Remus sighed and led them to the room that Mia and Monty had been placed.

"Mum! Dad!" Sirius greeted them as he walked in. They didn't show any pox yet, but their skin tones had started to take on a dark green cast, and Mia's beautiful white hair had a purple tinge.

"Oh, Sirius!" Mia said smiling. "Remus found you, I’m so glad."

"How are you feeling?" He asked coming to stand between their beds.

"Weak," Monty whispered. "And tired."

Mia smiled a sad smile. "I've felt better."

"Well, this will be a fun story for when James and Lily get home next week." He laughed. "We'll have you well and home in time for them to come to dinner."

Mia smiled. "You're quite the optimist this evening son. The healers expect we'll be here for a month before we can go home."

"But don't you go calling your brother!" Monty said trying to sit up. "He'll call off the whole honeymoon over nothing." Then he sneezed and sparks flew onto his fireproof blanket and were magically snuffed.

"Right you are Dad. You know James is the worrier of the two of us."

Just then a healer walked in. "Mr. and Mrs. Potter, I need to know who your next of kin is so we can contact them with updates."

"This young man here is my son Sirius," Mia said gesturing towards him. "You can contact him. In a week, his brother James will be back from his honeymoon and you can contact him then as well."

"Right, Sirius Potter this week, Sirius and James Potter starting next week. Thank you." And she walked out.

"Maybe you should legally change your name." Marlene teased.

Monty chuckled. "Now then kids, you run home. We'll send a Patronus if we need anything but right now, I'd like to sleep, and your mother ought to rest too. Once the sparks start it's pretty draining."

"I'll come by tomorrow," Sirius promised.

"Goodnight kids. We love you!" Mia waved as they walked out the door.

"You need to tell James," Remus said as they walked towards the apparition area.

"After Dad just told me not too? No thanks. You've never been on the wrong side of his wand. I have one, and believe me; Monty earned his spot fighting Grindelwald's cronies. He's lightning fast and sharp as a whip. I will not be telling James anything unless you can promise me you'll have Monty's wand for the next year or so. If you think James should know then _you_ can suffer the consequences."

Remus shook his head but didn’t press the issue as they reached the apparition area and apparated back to the apartment.

"This calls for a drink," Sirius said grabbing a bottle down from the shelf and pouring four glasses. "To James and Lily and to our parents' illness being a very curable one!"


	20. Chapter 20

Sirius sat on their couch as silent tears streamed down his face. 29 hours. Within 29 hours his parents were both dead. They’d started going downhill about a week after James and Lily returned from their honeymoon and never recovered. They had been old, and Mia had told them before she died that she was happy, Monty had told him he was proud. Their deaths were not tragedies, they were simply moving on, as he and Marlene had talked about so often in this war, but Sirius still felt the pain of their loss.

Marlene sat beside him, fingers intertwined with his. It was amazing to him how well she knew him. Lily was a talker, and her comfort to James had been full of words, and the chatter grated on Sirius. But Marlene, Marlene knew him and knew he just needed quiet, he needed time to process it all, and he needed her to ground him in reality.

As they sat there, James and Lily came out of their room. James sat in one of the armchairs, his eyes red from crying and his face haggard. "Pads, we need to decide on a day for the funeral."

Sirius nodded. "Mum used to say how Sundays were the best day for everything. If it was bad, then you had Monday to start on a new leaf. If it was good then you started Monday off on a happy note."

"Yeah, I remember." James smiled his voice cracking with emotion. "Ok. Sunday it is. They actually left everything in order; we just had to give the date."

Sirius nodded. Marlene squeezed his hand and he gave her a sad smile.

* * *

 

The funeral was lovely, and Sirius and James laid their parents side by side in Godric's Hollow. He didn't remember what was said, but he remembered Marlene holding his hand while he cried, and politely excusing them from any conversation that was lingering too long.

"Sirius," Dumbledore said approaching them. "I wanted to let you know, that Mia and Monty made no secret that they considered you a son. I wanted to give you this letter Mia wrote me, shortly after they took you in." He reached into his robes and handed Sirius an envelope.

Sirius took it cautiously. "Thank you, Dumbledore."

"We'll see you at the usual time and place then." He said, referring to the Order meetings, before walking over to James and Lily.

Sirius tucked the envelope into his pocket. "We'll read that at home." He said as he wrapped his arm around Marlene's waist.

* * *

 

Later Marlene sat on the bed while Sirius lay with his head in her lap. She was running her nails along his scalp and letting the radio play quietly in the background.

"I'm ready." He said quietly before sitting up and reaching for the envelope on his nightstand. He pulled out the letter and held it out for Marlene to read with him.

_Dear Albus,_

_I wanted to let you know that Sirius Black has finally worked up the courage to move out of his parents’ home and into my home where he belongs! I want all his records updated with Monty and me as his emergency contacts, and any concerns with his behavior come to us as well. As far as I'm concerned I finally got my other son home and if I could find a legitimate excuse to send his parents to Azkaban I'd make Monty and you take it up with the Wizengamot at your next meeting._

_Sincerely yours,_

_Mia Potter_

Sirius folded the letter and set it back on his nightstand before wrapping his arms around Marlene and allowing the tears to fall again.


	21. Chapter 21

"We have an announcement we'd like to make," James said, standing at the end of an Order meeting. "Lily and I are expecting! The baby is due next summer!" The room erupted in cheers as everyone rushed the happy couple. Someone pulled out a bottle and toasts were made all around.

Marlene smiled as she watched how happy Lily and James were. They were night and day from her and Sirius. She couldn't imagine having children now. Not in this war. Not when they might be tortured and killed just for existing. No, she wasn't emotionally wired to handle that. And Frank and Alice had announced last week too. They were all deliriously happy, but Alice and Lily would not be allowed on missions anymore, and Marlene knew that she wouldn't be able to handle that kind of restriction. If Sirius was out fighting then she would be to, just like they had agreed on when the war started.

Sirius walked up behind her and wrapped her in his embrace. This was what she lived for, these moments when everyone was happy and celebrating.

"Marlene," Sirius whispered. "You alright?"

She nodded and leaned back into him. "We're so different you know? Us and James and Lily. Did you know they were actually trying for this baby?"

Sirius chuckled. "Yeah, James has been a bit clinical when it comes to talking about sex lately. We went from stories about how awesome it was to him going on about the best time to do it to get the girl pregnant."

Marlene shuddered.

"Speaking of differences between us and them," Sirius said nuzzling her neck. "Do you remember that talk we had a couple nights ago? About getting married?"

"Yes. I still don't want our wedding during a war."

"I don't either. But I thought you might like this." And he pressed a simple white gold band into her hand. "Just so you know I'm serious."

She laughed as she felt his smile against her neck, "Is your name on it then?"

"No, the dumb ass clerk thought it tacky to put my name on a ring I was giving my fiancé."

"Ignorant git." And she turned in his arms to kiss him.

"I want to get you a real engagement ring, but I figured for now you'd probably prefer something simple."

"You really do know me, Black." She smiled as she slid the band on her finger.

“Biblically even.” He chuckled as he kissed her again.


	22. Chapter 22

"Crucio!" Karkaroff yelled and Marlene screamed, focusing all her will on holding onto her wand, if she dropped it now she'd be dead. Fighting to push past the pain she summoned all her courage and strength and pointed her wand at the roof above Karkaroff.

"Bombarda Maxima!" She whispered and the roof collapsed on top of both of them.

* * *

 

Marlene came too when she heard voices. She was pinned under the debris and she strained to tell if the voices were friendly, gripping her wand tightly.

"She's probably under the rubble." Gideon's voice drifted down.

"No shit Gid," Fabian grunted.

"Gid? Fab?" Marlene called out.

"Marlene?" They called in unison. "Are you ok?"

"I'm pinned under, but I'm ok. Be careful. I brought the roof down on Karkaroff too."

"Wow." Gideon whistled. "He must have really pissed you off if you were willing to be stuck under the roof too."

"Funny." She chuckled as her vision blurred.

"Marlene?" Fabian called out.

She managed a muddled reply.

"Stay with us, Marlene!" He shouted.

And though she tried to hold on, she slipped back into unconsciousness.

* * *

 

When she came to again, she was lying in a bed in St. Mungo's. She opened her eyes and saw Sirius sitting next to her, his head in his hands.

"Sirius." She sighed smiling.

"Marls!"

"Did they get Karkaroff?"

"Yeah, Gid called in Moody when they found you and Moody brought Karkaroff to the Aurors.”

"Good." She sighed wearily.

"What happened, Marls?" Sirius said taking her hand.

She took a deep breath. "He used Crucio on me. It was all I could do to keep conscious and hold onto my wand. Bringing the roof down was the first thing I thought of."

"Merlin Marls!" Sirius breathed as he brought her hand to his lips. "You're one hell of a badass aren't you?" And he smirked at her.

Marlene chuckled. "Got to hold my own with you wanker."

"We're even now," Sirius said running his fingers along her arm. "We've each ended up here after a mission twice."

"I'd like to keep it that way. Once in here is too much."

"Agreed." Sirius stood and kissed her softly.


	23. Chapter 23

"He's beautiful Lily," Marlene said holding little Harry in her arms. She sat on the couch in their home in Godric's Hollow where the Potters were hiding. They had made Sirius Harry's godfather the night before while Marlene had been on a mission, and Sirius had actually gushed about it when she got home late that night.

Lily smiled as she sat next to Marlene. "I was sad you couldn't come last night, but the Order comes first." She was quiet for a moment before turning to look at James and Sirius in the backyard chatting. "Marlene, if something happens to us, you'll be there to help Sirius, right?"

Most people would have gone on about how nothing was going to happen to any of them, but Marlene lived her life as if each day was the end, and so she didn't respond with the usual platitudes. "If I'm still around, yes."

Lily smiled. "That's the best we can hope for."

James and Sirius came back in at that moment both looking somber. "We just got a Patronus from Moody. They killed Benjy."

Lily and Marlene were quiet as the shock set in and then suddenly Lily burst into tears. James moved to sit next to her on the couch, putting his arm around her as she fought to regain control of her emotions.

"After the mission last night, or today?" Marlene asked confused. Benjy had been out with her and Pete on the mission. He was fine when they'd all left Headquarters, laughing even.

Sirius nodded. "He went home and they ambushed him outside his house."

Marlene shuddered, realizing the Death Eaters could have just as easily ambushed her and Pete when they got home - Pete now living in James and Lily's old room - taking out them, Sirius and Remus too probably.

Their numbers were dwindling while Voldemort's were growing and it was a sobering thought.

"We're dropping like flies." Marlene shook her head.

"We'll make it," Sirius said reassuringly. "We may be few in numbers, but remember what Dumbledore said, 'we have something worth fighting for.’” Marlene smiled at him and nodded, handing Harry back to Lily. "We should go see what they want us to do Sirius. Benjy was supposed to be with us on tomorrow's mission."

"Right, we'll see you three soon," Sirius said tickling baby Harry before clasping James and Lily in a hug.

Marlene and Sirius walked to the backyard and apparated to Headquarters.


	24. Chapter 24

The war worsened and as more members of the Order were killed off the more work the surviving members had. And while Dumbledore worked hard to recruit more people to the Order, it was proving more and more of a lost cause.

In early summer the unthinkable happened. Moody informed them at a weekly meeting that Gideon and Fabian Prewitt had been taken out the night before. The powerhouse team that was always in the thick of the most dangerous missions was dead.

Their death seemed to send Peter into a depression. He locked himself in his room and wouldn't come out for three days. When he finally resurfaced, he told Remus, Sirius, and Marlene that he needed some time with family, and left for his mother's home. When he came back four days later, he seemed dead. He still went on missions but at home he would sit quietly for hours, only responding to direct questions. About that time, Remus told them he'd been assigned a special mission by Dumbledore, and would only see them at Order meetings.

Sirius and Marlene worked overtime for the Order, throwing themselves into every assignment. There were so few members left that they'd been partnered together permanently, all couples had, and everyone else had been assigned to another member permanently. They just didn't have the numbers to send members out based on personal strengths anymore. Sirius and Marlene missed family gatherings and even Harry's first birthday, though Sirius had made sure to send him a toy broom. It was exhausting going nearly 24/7.

Collapsing on their bed after a difficult assignment, the apartment empty as Pete had decided to spend the week at his mother's, Sirius pulled Marlene close.

"I'm so exhausted." She sighed. "Physically, emotionally, mentally, I just wish Voldemort would take a break or the rest of the wizarding community would fucking grow a pair and help us out."

Sirius chuckled, "Merlin I love you!"

"I love you too.” She kissed his cheek. “Thanks for kicking Goyle in the teeth. His comments were annoying and watching him spit blood was very satisfying."

"Never let it be said that chivalry is dead. I'm glad you enjoyed watching me diffuse some anger."

"Do you think it's safe to visit James and Lily and Harry?"

"Probably, but I don't know when. You realize that we go at it again tomorrow morning right?"

"Yeah, it's just that playing with Harry and talking about old times with James and Lily helps me remember that there was a time when we weren't constantly looking over our shoulders, when we had plans of traveling the world, when we didn't need to live each day like we were going to die in order to mentally survive. I'm at peace with death, but living like this is beyond what I thought I was capable of."

"I know what you mean. Ok. After the mission tomorrow we go see Prongs. I think you're right. I need some reminders that life wasn't always this way."


	25. Chapter 25

"You ought to take some precautions with your families," Kingsley said at a meeting in late August. "Death Eaters are aware that our numbers are few and they're looking for ways to wipe us out. We've prepared some safe houses for the families in the greatest amounts of danger. Marlene, you'll take your family to here." He said pointing to a map. "We're sure that the entire Black family has it out for you, so your family is at great risk. Dorcas, your family is assigned this home here, since Voldemort took your denial of his offer to join him personally. Molly, Arthur, we didn't think you'd be willing to relocate your family, but we do want to increase your wards. If any of the rest of you feel your families should be in safe homes just talk to Emmeline and we'll do our best to protect them. Dorcas, Marlene, we want your families in those safe homes by the end of next week."

"I guess we're going to go see Mum and Dad," Marlene said to Sirius as they all filed out of the room.

Mr. McKinnon nodded sadly at the news. "Honestly we were surprised it hadn't happened sooner. You've been keeping your space from us lately and from the news articles it wasn't hard to deduce that things were getting worse."

Mrs. McKinnon wrapped her arm around Marlene. "Will you and Sirius be able to visit more once we're in hiding? We've missed the two of you."

Marlene sighed. "Probably not, we're running at full speed every day. There's barely a moment to breathe."

"We'll make some time Mum." Sirius smiled. "It won't be often, but we'll do our best."

She smiled and then turned towards Catherine. "Maybe we should talk about homeschooling you again miss. Is this enough to show you how dangerous things are."

"Mum, Dumbledore is the main guy fighting Voldemort. I'll be way safer at school than in a safe house."

"I'll talk to Dumbledore," Sirius said leaning back in his chair. "We can probably get her to school without putting her on the train. Worst case Marlene and I ride the train with her, but I'm sure we could do it easier than that."

"Where did you find this wonderful man Marlene?" Catharine gushed.

Mrs. McKinnon sighed. "If we can get you to Hogwarts without putting you on the train then I'll agree for you to go back to school."

"Let's show you the safe house and then we'll leave you to pack. We've been here too long already." Marlene said looking out the windows cautiously.


	26. Chapter 26

They lay breathless wrapped in each other's arms. It had been another close call today, but thankfully nothing that needed a healer. Not even St. Mungo's was safe anymore.

"My folks should be all moved in now," Marlene said. "I promised to stop by and check on them this evening."

"Ok, James asked to talk with me. Are you ok to check on them while I do that and then I'll meet you back here?"

"Yeah, then we can go over tomorrow's mission." Marlene smiled. "I think we should take the motorcycle out tonight after everything."

"Best idea you've had yet." Sirius leaned down and kissed her.

"I love you, Sirius." She breathed.

"I love you too, Marls."

Sirius sat on the sofa with James.

"He thinks you three are in that much danger?"

"Yeah, we're not sure yet if we want to do a Fidelis Charm, but if we do, I want you to be the Secret Keeper."

"Sure Prongs. I'm here for you if you guys decide to do this."

James smiled and clasped Sirius on the shoulder. "I knew I could count on you! How're Marlene and the rest of the Order?"

"Alright. We've had to move Marlene's family and Do's family into safe houses, and amp up the Weasley's wards. Our numbers are thinning almost as fast as the Aurors'. If this prophecy is correct, we'll just have to hold out long enough for Harry to lead us all to victory."

James chuckled. "I'd really rather you all kill off Voldemort before that's necessary. I don't know how much stock I put in the prophecy, but as long as Voldemort puts any store in it I've got to keep Harry and Lily safe."

Just then, Marlene's black bear Patronus came rushing through the window. "Sirius! They've found us! We're surrounded! Hurry!"

Sirius went running for the back door. Patronus' weren't instant, and he knew how far away that message had traveled; he didn't have much time.

"Alert the Order Prongs!" Sirius yelled as he burst through the back door and apparated to the safe house. Hoping against hope that the wards were still intact he apparated outside of them, about a quarter mile away, and as he turned towards the home his worst fear faced him.

The Dark Mark shined bright above the safe home which was burning in green flames, smoke rising high. Without thinking Sirius ran to the house and into the flames.

Marlene and her family lay on opposite sides of the front room lifeless, and Sirius pushed down the horror as he realized they had made her watch as they destroyed her parents and sister. His hope not quite dead, he grabbed Marlene's body from the flames and rushed out of the house.

Dropping to the grass in front of the house Sirius cradled Marlene's body to him. "Marlene!" He screamed, maybe she'd hear him, maybe she'd come back. "Marls! Please!"

His throat constricted and his chest tightened as her form remained limp. "Marls." He whispered. "Marls, we're going to take the bike out tonight, remember. You love the bike. I was going to get you one for Christmas and we were going to fix it to fly too. So we could travel when this is all over. Remember? You wanted to feel what it was like to sit in the ocean and know it could swallow you in an instant."

His face soaked in his tears; he brought his lips to her forehead ignoring that it lacked its usual warmth. "Don't let me be the one to survive." He begged quietly. "Please Marls."

Suddenly there was a hand on his shoulder. "Sirius," Emmeline said. "Sirius let her go."

"No!" He screamed holding Marlene's body tighter to him.

"Sirius she's gone. You need to let her go."

Sirius shook as the grief overcame him, holding Marlene's limp form as close to him as he could. They didn't understand, it was supposed to be him. She was stronger. She could survive. He couldn't, he wasn't supposed to.

"Kingsley you'll need to get James," Emmeline said turning away from Sirius.

"That's not entirely wise Emmeline." He replied dubiously.

"I know, but that's our best bet to get him out of here. I was in their year at school. James and Sirius are more brothers than most siblings I know. Trust me, Kingsley, we need James."

Kingsley sighed and then apparated away.

Sirius sobbed. His whole world had collapsed around him. Nothing made sense. Marlene was gone and he was alone. He wasn't meant to survive. He had everyone against him.

"I'm sorry Marls." He whispered. "They came for you because of me. I should have protected you. I should have come with you. I should have been here."

"Sirius," Emmeline said comfortingly. "Sirius this isn't your fault. They're coming at all of us. If you'd been here we would have lost you too."

"Maybe that's what I want!" He roared at her. "I'm at peace with death! It’s living I can't handle! I was supposed to die! They were supposed to come after me! I'm the blood traitor!"

"Sirius," Emmeline moved to hug him but he pushed her away as the truth of his own words crushed him like a ton of bricks. He couldn't breathe and the sobbing came so fast that he started to feel light headed.

And then James was there. He crouched down in front of him and put his hand on Sirius' shoulder. "Pads. Let her go."

Sirius sobbed harder. "No!" He gasped out. "Prongs, no!"

"She’s gone Pads. Let her go." And then Dorcas and Emmeline were gently lifting Marlene from his arms and James was pulling him to stand.

"James, I'll take you and Sirius back to your home. Emmeline when I get back we're all going to check on Dorcas' family. I want to make sure this is an isolated attack."

Do’s face took on a worried look.

James took a firm hold on his brother and apparated them to his backyard, Kingsley right behind him.

"We'll be in touch," Kingsley promised before apparating away.

James led Sirius into the house and onto the couch. "James, what happened?" Lily said coming down the stairs. One look at Sirius gave her the answer. She flew down to Sirius and wrapped her arms around him. "Oh, Sirius!" She cried.

And Sirius collapsed into her embrace, howling in anguished grief. Marlene was gone, and Sirius felt that the world had ended.


	27. Chapter 27

"See reason Prongs," Sirius said shaking his head. "There's a turncoat in our midst and everyone thinks I'm going to be the Secret Keeper. Let them think that and make Pete your Secret Keeper. I'll help him get set up in a hiding place so he'll be completely under the radar. Then Voldemort will still think to come after me, and it will do him no good."

"Pads you're proposing I help you commit suicide." James almost yelled. "Would Marlene really have wanted this? For you to throw yourself into Voldemort's path for no reason? Don't think I don't know. You've volunteered for every mission possible and have been beyond reckless when dueling. If we did switch you with Pete we should at least tell Dumbledore that we're switching things."

"No. If he decided to tell someone then it would only be a matter of time before the spy found out. Everyone knew where the safe houses were and look what happened!"

"And Doe decided to avenge her family and look where that got her!" James shook his head. "Are you set on this Pads?"

"I'm just trying to do everything to keep you and Lily and Harry safe." Sirius bit back the tears; he couldn’t lose them too, not after losing her.

"He might be right James," Lily said from the kitchen. "This would be the best way to throw off the spy, and it might actually help the Order figure out who the mole is. Sirius is willing to take the chance; it's not our call to tell him he can't."

James sighed. "If you die in this and make me pick a new godfather for Harry I'm going to kill you."

"Don't worry mate. I'll weed out the mole and Wormy will keep you all safe while I do it."


	28. Chapter 28

He should have demanded Harry from Hagrid; he knew that - damned be Dumbledore. But as Sirius stood outside the wreckage of his brother's home his mind was focused on one fact: Marlene, James, and Lily were all dead and it was at Peter's hand. Sirius didn’t want justice, he wanted vengeance, he wanted blood. He was going to make the rat pay for this, all of this. He would wring the life of each one of them from that traitor’s body. He wanted to hear him scream and watch him writhe in pain, to feel what he'd put Sirius through in the last few months. To make him suffer the way he'd suffered. And only then would he pay him in kind for his treachery. He was going to kill Wormtail.


	29. Chapter 29

When Sirius fell through the veil, he hit hard on the other side. Rising to continue taunting Bella he stopped, realizing that no wand lay in his hand, and he was no longer in the Department of Mysteries.

"Were you ready?" A voice he had longed to hear for years asked.

A smile touching his lips, he turned. Her hair hung gold around her shoulders and her bright blue eyes shown with love.

"Yeah," He smiled at her.

"James is waiting." She held out her hand. "Lily distracted him so I could be the one to come get you."

Sirius smirked and took her very real hand. "Best not keep him waiting then." He leaned down and kissed her and it was as though the years and pain and loss melted away.  He pulled away and smiled as he realized that he was no longer the one left behind.


End file.
